Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies sounded perfect. It'd been too long since we hung out, as she'd been spending a lot time with her boyfriend Robert, although, I think I heard something about them splitting up. If that was true I hope it hadn't been too bad, but then she usually called me if she needed anything. I recognized my passive stance again, and wondered how much of my life was waiting for other people to. Travis thought, maybe hoped, he wasn’t sure, he’d felt a heated tingle in his loins.----A couple days later Travis was in town and stopped at the pharmacy. He didn’t see Bettina right away, but he was anxious to talk to her. It was after lunchtime but there were three other people eating at the counter.“She’s not here,” said the snotty white woman behind the counter.“Oh,” said Travis, taken by surprise. “Will she be back?”“Should be before long. She went to see the doctor with her Mom. What’ll you have?”Travis ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a Coke. He hadn’t eaten since early morning so he decided to hang out a little while and hopefully Bettina would show up. He was just about finished eating when she returned.Bettina came in through the back, put her uniform on and entered the store. She saw him immediately and approached him with a grin on her face.“Hi Travis!” she said enthusiastically. “How are you?”“I’m good, came in for some lunch. How about you? Everything okay at the.
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